Are You a Conference Junkie?

Do you attend every writing conference you can afford?Ask yourself why?

Are you:
Hoping to learn the secret handshake of the Published authors club?

• Give up, there isn’t one

Actual find an editor or agent who will accept your manuscript you slipped under the door of the restroom stall?

• This action could be misunderstood and cause the police to be called.

Get a smile out of an agent/editor you cornered in an elevator to pitch your story?

• Don’t push the stop button either.

Talk the ear off an editor at the bar while she/he is relaxing after listening to pitches for the last five to eight hours?

• They need to relax after a day of listening to secret babies, cowboys,
mail order brides, who shot who, fast talkers, boring writers, smiling,
not enough coffee or chocolate and blah, blah, blah.

Talk with your mouth full or monopolize the conversation at lunch or dinner when an agent/editor/publisher is seated at your table?

• This is not only bad manners but someone else at the table might want to get
a word or question in that isn’t a newbie redundant one. You will be
remembered.

Stop an editor walking very fast in the hallway to pitch your manuscript, only to find he/she is in a hurry to get to the restroom before they pee their pants.

• Just because the editor is on neutral territory (the hallway) it doesn’t
mean she/he is available to give you their undivided attention. Rushing
down the hall should be the first clue she/he are on a mission.

Finally if you meet a woman at the airport of your conference destination waiting for the same hotel shuttle and you don’t recognize her don’t ask her if she is published (unless she volunteer this information), because she may turn out to be the keynote speaker at lunch or dinner.

Note:If you do get an opportunity to pitch your book in a casual atmosphere, don’t do it at a costume party dressed as the Crazy Cat Lady.

Favorite memories from The Turtle?

First time seeing Polynesian Paul and signing somewhere on his body! LOL

Swimming in the pool and only realizing there was a mural painted on the ceiling after we'd been in the pool for a good thirty minutes!

The Brainstorming will always be the best part for me - the variety of ideas and the rapidity with which they flow at our roundtable discussions...well, that and the faster they fly the more wine is consumed!

Laughing Cow cheese and boxed wine, loads of ideas and good friends who share your obsession with writing - it doesn't get any better than that!!

Using Handwipes on Penny Machines

At the Turtle in the Fall or 2008 I won $100 when I decided to clean the buttons on the penny machine with a handywipe. I had been playing the same machine for a long time and when I wiped the keys I rubbed too hard and pushed the bet max button. I panicked while I watched the wheels spin and my money get eaten by the slot machine monster. As I yelled OMG and looked at J L in horror, my heart almost stopped when the jackpot wizard blinked and danced on the screen telling me I had won $100. I was so excited about my win I stopped playing, took my winnings to play another day.

HA Ha on me, because I couldn't remember the next day what machine it was.

Anyway, whether you want good luck or ward of the Flu always clean the buttons and the keyboard when playing the slots at a Casino. See you all next Spring in 2010.

Kathy Nordstrom

I Dream of Jeannie

I remember our Turtle time when we were all hitting the slots and not having much luck.

On Sunday before leaving, we found a bank of I Dream of Jeannie machines. There were 6 machines, 3 back-to-back. I took one, Jeannie Eddy took another, Kathy took one, Cai had one on the other side and I think Ardath had one, too.

Jeannie hit it big first. She won like $50 on her machine. Then I hit it. This was one of those machines that has a gizmo on top that made noise and spun when you hit the bonus. Pretty soon mine was making noise, then Cai's. I think I made about $30 and Cai made some cash, too.

I still play an I Dream of Jeannie machine whenever I see them. They got rid of that bank of 6 at the Turtle, but they're still scattered here and there. I have dreams of hitting it big one more time...

Here we are!

This is an open blog (open to anyone who has been a Turtle Chick, that is).

Feel free to come over here and jot down your memories of Turtle Times. We want to use this as a diary of our times at the Turtle, so we don't forget the fun we've had.

Like all Turtle activities: no strain, no pressure. Jot as you want, whenever you want. As long as Blogger is here, we'll have the memories!

Once authors have accepted the invitation to blog here, I'll close the blog so only we can see it.

J